I Feel Like an Idiot

[Essence]

Hello Tkforums and its members!
It feels great be back after that short absence away from the internet. I've also got some good news. My laptop has finally been fixed! I'm so happy, . Now all I have to do is get a new one. XP
With greetings out of the way, I can say a few things I've learned about myself!
It turns out I have two habits. Very terrible, bad, annoying...did I say terrible? Anyway, the habits are laziness and procrastination. I hate those two words more than you can imagine! I seriously hope to do something about those two habits soon.
Next. I think I had a breakthrough...it goes like this. I was sitting down because I really wanted to try and meditate. Although, right after I sat down and got relaxed, a little voice in my head said, "this is stupid!" Instantly after that I had to move, don't know why, just had to. I'm feeling that meditation may hold something key to my pursuit into Psionics.
And last, hypnosis. I've always been a fan of hypnosis. In fact, I have various hypnosis-audio tracks on my laptop. I'm going to look into self-hypnosis as well. I'm hoping hypnosis will help me get over those mental blocks I'm sure I have stored in my head.
So. I've decided (for the sake of organization!), to divide my journal into three categories...General, On Hypnosis, and On Meditation. I'm hoping this all works out for the better.
Also, I would love for some meditation and hypnosis methods if you know any.
See you all soon. ^^

Oh yeah! Before I forget, I'm looking for a mentor. Just throwing that out there, heh.

[Essence]

General
There isn't that much I can say in general...
I do have a 74 in my Geometry-CP class, not to metion we had an art/math project due a few days ago. I'd completely forgotten about it too! Talk about an F big enough to drop my grade low, very low.
When I've installed the software needed to download music onto my new Zune mp3, I'll put some of my hypnosis tracks on it.

On Hypnosis
Well...hypnosis, eh?
Now that I've gotten my laptop fixed (), I can re-download the hypnosis tracks onto my laptop. I have a selection, too! There's EZMem (it basically gives you a photographic memory), Study Better (for school), and I'll have to see if there are any to help get rid of procrastinating and laziness. That would literally help with everything in my life.
I'm also going to look into self-hypnosis too.

On Meditation
I found out something cool on my way to school a couple of days ago (I ride the bus, ). I was getting bored, so I'd thought I'd try something a read about a while back- Aura Manipulation.
I visualized my aura turning a dark red(to signify anger, I was trying to make the people around me nervous, )
A few seconds later, and for no apparent reason, I got very mad. After that happened I stopped what I was doing and the anger faded away. Bemused, I tried the aura manipulation again, and got the same results! I find that hilarious.
I remembered that when I was getting stressed in my Geomerty-CP class. So, I visualized my aura turning into a "calming" blue color, and pulling into my body. Not even a minute later, my breathing slowed and I became calm. Awesome!
I might look into that a little more. Aura meditation maybe? Any thoughts?

[Nightschæfer]

Red is a color you should be careful with when you are dealing with auras. The negative auracolor is something that should be changed to good colors. Not the other way around... And to be honest i am way to busy to be more than one persons teacher.

[Essence]

Okay. Next time I try aura manipulation, I will stick with blue.

[Essence]

General
Ah, General, that one place of freedom in which I can talk about all of my worries, no matter how big, small, or stupid they are. And I have nothing to talk about.
…Just kidding!
Now, seriously, I have developed a new interest in Astral Projection and Psychokinesis. The new interests in Astral Projection was probably re-light when I remembered reading an Astral Projection log that talked about when the Psion would astral project, travel to a temple or school, and meet a mentor.
I would love to be able to do all of that.
On Psychokinesis, I’m pretty sure it’s just my desire to prove that all of this is real and I’m not part of a big joke centered on myself.
Talk about paranoid, eh?

On Hypnosis
I listened to a hypnosis-audio a few nights ago called “Learn and Excel”. It basically helps in improving memory and all things needed to ace school, . It centers on you self-hypnotizing yourself while listening to the audio, and then repeating various statements.
I’ve also re-re-read Monkey Face’s self-hypnosis article (very helpful last time I tried it too) and plan to begin a daily self-hypnosis practice around the following statements-
-I am a natural at self-hypnosis and entering hypnotic trances.
   -I love to practice self-hypnosis daily.
   -I find it very easy to practice self-hypnosis.
   -With each time I hypnotize myself, I find it easier and easier to do so next time and go into deeper and deeper trances.
Once I have become proficient in self-hypnosis, I’ll move on to different statements. They’ll most likely be centered around me get money, .

On Meditation
Yeah…
I may ‘drop’ meditation until I become better in self-hypnosis.
Think I should? Or think I shouldn’t? I’m open to any and all opinions you have.
So…^^;

[MonkeyFace]

Well, when you think about it... self-hypnosis is meditation - it just has an ultimate purpose, that's all. So if you drop what you might call your regular meditation for self-hypnosis, you're not changing much at all.

Personally, meditation is not a skill I develop as such; it's more of a way to help me fall asleep, or a method I use to help calm myself, or something along those lines.

[Essence]

A wierd thing happened yesterday. I was standing in the lunch line, waiting for food, when I got this wierd feeling that I was going to get or eat a pepperoni pizza. I dissmised the feeling, had lunch, and was on my way to my next class when I had this urge to get a notebook. Since i leave my booksat in my 4 th period class, as my 3d period class is gym. It turns out my 4 th period teacher was eating pepperoni pizza! And I got to eat a slice too!      Preconigtion?

[Thatguy]

Weird...yet cool   

[MonkeyFace]

Yeah, I think it was precog. Nice work

[Essence]

Yaay! Instead of developing a skill I wanted, like aura vision, I was given Precognition. On a lighter note, a precognition type thing happened a few days before the pizza one. Now I just need it to show me the answers to my school tests, XD.

[Essence]

General
Hooooraaahhhh!!!!!![/glow]

I have internet!!!
Well...somewhat. I don't have wi-fi. My mom was getting Time Warner Cable hooked up to the home computer, but the computer kept freezing up, so it won't work until she gets a new CPU (Tower) for it. But I am able to hook it up to my laptop for internet. So I have to stay within a 3 foot radius so I can keep hooked up to the internet.
So....yeah.
I still find myself interested in Astral Projection and Psychokinesis as well, any one wanna give some tips.

Still looking for an all around mentor too. ^^

On Hypnosis
Curse my procrastination!!! I keep trying to focus and practice self-hypnosis, but...yeah, I know...it's my fault. I can start practicing anytime I want, I just...
Lets move on.
I was listening to a hour long meditation/astral projection tape, when I noticed something. I was overcome with itches and uncomfortableness. Is my sub-conscious bent on keeping me from relaxing for more than 5 seconds?
I have to figure that out, I mean, if I can't relax, how can I re-condition my sub-conscious?
How?!

[Essence]

Well, I'm unsure of how much longer I'll be online. You see, my laptop's charger is messing up and won't charge, . I only on right now because of luck. So...I appreciate any ideas and help on how to fix my charger.

[Essence]

I got a new charger a few days ago! I'm so happy, .

...I feel like psionics is slipping out of my life,though. I'm hoping to stay active, but I don't know if I will be. I planned to start a schedule using hypnosis, but I have yet to start, hope to today.
So...I'll see you all later, hopefully. ^^

[Essence]

General
I'm back. For how long, I know not.
To start off, my mom got an entirely new computer now, so I no longer have internet on my laptop, hoping that will change once I get an ethernet cable hooked up in my room too. Then I'll have internet 24/7, .
Psionically, I'm confused. Part of me feels myself drifting away from Psionics, while the other part of me clings on. I'm going to stay with Psionics as long as I can, but I have no idea how long the "clingy" part of me will last. Heck, I may be gone tomorrow, or I may be gone years from now.

On Hypnosis
Still trying to contact my subconscious. But I'm thinking of taking a different approach: Lucid Dreaming. If I can lucid dream, I should be able to talk with my subconscious for however long I choose.

Any ideas?

[Essence]

General
I feel like an idiot. I tried PK and it left me in the dumps, no success. More reason for my subconscious to not believe in all of this.


On Hypnosis
I've found a hypnosis file that will help me become more susceptible to fall into trances. Once I can easily go into a trance, working with hypnosis will be 10x's easier.

[Essence]

Hey Everyone, guess who's back? That's right, MonkeyFace is ba-...wait. I mean me, Epsilon. Never post when you are 'bout to fall asleep...

Anyway. I've been trying to OBE and lucid dream recently, have yet to accomplish either, but I hope to do so soon. After I manage to OBE, I may start working with PK, using my new found belief in Psionics from the OBE, <3. If you want the reason for me wanting to want to lucid dream, lawl, it's because I wish to beat a few 'facts' into my subconscious, a-heh, heh...
So, Great to be back, and of course, my signature move: ^^.
                       -Epsilon, (January 13, 2010)

[MonkeyFace]

Haha, welcome back.

[Fujin]

Interesting, you are geared to more of the spiritual side of psionics. Nice progress so far, keep it up.

[Essence]

Ha, how long has it been since I started Psionics? 3, 4 years, I think.
It's been that long, yet I haven't made any achievements in Psionics, in fact, I found out a few days ago that only around 6% of myself believes in Psionics. I had sat down and just randomly asked myself how much I believe in Psionics, and I got that weird percentage number.
It's still amazing that I'm here, that part of me that clings for dear life is still going strong, : P.

Still messing around with hypnosis. I've seemed to had success with a file that compresses 8 hours of sleep into 4, and around 3 to 4 times I've woken up 4 hours after I went to bed. I've stopped listening for a little, and the hours I sleep seem to go from 4 to 5 or 6.
Plan to work a little of PK, again, and continue with Hypnosis, ^^.

Your Journal "Addict", Essence.

[takeiteasy]

I have had similar problems with meditation. I feel... uh.. what is the use of sitting and focusing for a few minutes everyday? I need to focus all day. I feel that focusing on what I am doing right now is more meaningful than setting aside a few minutes each day. But then, that's me!!